Posted by: ME | July 14, 2015

What would I regret if I died today?

I’m on day 3 of reading Start by Jon Acuff. I bought it for my daughter as a supplement to her last high school credit ever, economics. So, naturally, I am reading it ahead of her(ha! that NEVER happens, especially when it is Shakespeare).

This book is one that I do not want to put down but in order to comprehend and process it all, you have to. That makes it sound like a hard read, yet that is farthest from the truth. It’s just that you need to do some pondering and thinking between chapters. In two days, I am about halfway through it. It is an exciting and hopeful read so far.

Acuff has a section in Chapter 4 (Learning) called “the plane crash”. He describes how he wants to have a safe plane crash so life can flash before his eyes. I get that. In a way. So he hasn’t had any life threatening experiences. It gives perspective.

I have had a couple life threatening experiences in my life and maybe that is why I get him on that point. One was me and the other, as you may know, is my oldest daughter, who had cancer as a toddler and on chemo until she was five. My life threatening experience was a post surgery dose of morphine, which apparently my body is just a bit sensitive to because it stopped. I stopped breathing. I don’t know if my heart stopped but the rest of me did. I will have to ask my hubby. He is the one who found me not breathing.
Moving on…..

Jon Acuff asks the question that leads this post and I found it interesting to consider this morning.

What WOULD I regret if I died today?

1. Not finishing a childrens inspirational book Haley and I have worked on in the distant past (like 3 years ago and more). I even have a self publishing name and had some cheap cards made up that have been in my closet hiding.
2. Publish a poem I wrote to my daughter when she was about 3 weeks into chemo- may just have in book from number one.
3. Paying off our school loans. First, because it is an EMBARRASSING amount of money that no one else needs to even stress over and second, I am so tired of that monkey on our backs and it is NOT going away unless something in this life of ours changes drastically. THE reason we are discouraging our kids from ever taking school loans! It did have a purpose though and got us through a lost income during those chemo days. I am so over it though. It makes my heart hurt.
4. Not going out of this country with my family. Whether it be a cruise just off the coast or someplace more exotic, I dream of the bluest clearest waters ever. I dream of seeing places together that we have only read about or seen in other peoples posts or on television. I want to see my kids faces when they share in seeing something like that for the first time.
5. Is private and has to do with last night and my husband, who I think is a cutie and an overall awesome guy. I know, TMI, but wouldn’t you have a similar regret if you DIED today? I just like SLEEP so much. And HONESTY, okay? whew- that is done!

Ok, so Mr. Acuff, next is on to my fears. I wrote them. All fifteen so far. Paul says it could be transformed into a Stephen King novel.
Not sure I will post those. Maybe when I mock them. Maybe.


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